Most of my friends like me because I am not high maintenance, and am rarely upset with them. Perhaps this is because I am a big fat liar. I tell myself I don’t like to get angry at friends because we all have stuff going on and everyone is generally well intentioned, and it’s only when someone steps way over this line I will engage in a confrontation about something that has ticked me off.
I still think this M.O. works BUT am now wondering if perhaps I don’t demand enough of my friends. Have we lowered our standards of what it is like to be a good friend to someone? Is expecting little a good way to build those relationships?
This of course comes from being upset about some stuff. This kind of stuff:
– When you tell me you want to help, and I for once say "thanks that would be nice" don’t all of a sudden go AWOL on me. It’s rude. If you don’t want to help, don’t offer.
– If you ask me for money and I give it to you (say, to support a cause), I would appreciate it if you reciprocate when I ask for money to support my cause.
– If we have chatted over IM, it does not mean we have caught up. Call. Go get coffee. Commit to going and getting coffee together rather than saying "this Saturday let’s catch up via cell and meet"…it never happens. Be willing to commit for a friend.
People even at age 33 still have feelings that can be hurt. Make an effort. Make a commitment and live up to it. Be a friend.