I am in LA and am watching the Grammy’s…and honest to goodness, am truly upset that I am not a famous singer.  Hell, I am not a singer at all, let alone famous.  This is not a passing "oh wouldn’t it be fun to be famous" sentiment…I think it’s a realization that I am not living my most authentic life.   

Dear god that is terrifying.

This is the only one I have…the only life.  Not a dress rehearsal. 

I don’t think I really want to be a pop star (darn good fantasy though) but it’s along those lines – doing what you feel is your calling, what you are meant to do, living your dreams, pursuing that thing that they talk about when they stand on stage and accept the award and say "follow your dreams!"

If I only knew what that was.

Sounds silly but I am sad.  Maybe it’s the wine.  Maybe it’s PMS.  Maybe it’s that I am 33 and have realized that a big part of my life is behind me. 

This is real.