I am now WIFE. A married woman. Since I have been married (less than two months) I have received lots of interesting questions such as:
– When are you having kids? (not "if" but "when")
– Are you off the pill yet?
– What do you mean you aren’t taking folic acid pills? Your child could have ISSUES you know.
– Are you moving to the suburbs?
– WHEN are you moving to the suburbs?
– Do you go out less?
– Do you think you will keep working? (I love this one – like when you get married you land under the magic money tree and cash just rains down on you like never before.)
And my personal favorite, "How are you settling into married life?".
I don’t know what any of this really means, but I do find it amusing. You get married, and all of a sudden your life is supposed to be completely different. We have been together for six years – long time – and lived together for three of them. I am sure there will be issues we confront that had we not married, we would not face. And certainly, the addition of kids will mean big life changes. But I cannot help but wonder, what DO people mean when they ask how I am settling into married life. Then it occured to me – maybe I am doing it wrong! I am failing at married life! Dear god. Well let me fix that right away!
So off to Google I go and I find this: from Housekeeping Monthly May 13, 1955, "The Good Wife’s Guide". Hurrah!!! A guide…take a look…
The Good Wife’s Guide
"Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place."
Well I think that says it all, don’t you? 🙂