I made a dinner tonight for two friends. It was simple, not requiring several days of preparation or anything like that. I really enjoyed it. I liked thinking about what to make, shopping, setting the table (using new wedding gifts was especially fun), chopping, prepping and creating. Creating a welcoming atmosphere for others and thinking about pulling that together was a true joy.
It’s not often we get to sit with friends. We talked about how we used to do this all the time, before some of us were coupled, before people moved, before there were kids. Now our lives are much more dispersed. I suppose this is inevitable but it made me sad. We will always be busy. There will always be work and obligations. Are we supposing there will be more time in the future? Not likely. I guess it’s all about choices and trade-offs. And of course I am a sucker for nostalgia, so of course I miss times passed even if times now are just as good in their own right.
But it is a nice reminder – a simple night with friends sitting around a table catching up, looking at pictures, talking about careers, a little reminiscing, a lot of listening to one another. It was not so hard to pull that together and the reward (at least for me) was high. Especially now that I am married (whoa…I have a new term defining ME) and not wanting that definition to restrict my life with friends. People assume when you have vowed to be with someone forever that your spouse becomes your one and only confidant. Not true, at least not in my case. I still need my friends. I still want them in my life regularly. They were not just a stepping stone to this point, shoulders to cry on when another ass did not call, people to go hang at a bar with when you were really looking for someone else. They were not and are not a means to an end. They were and still are a destination in and of themselves.
I hope I don’t lose site of that, and I hope they won’t either.