I cannot believe there is a show on MTV called Maui Fever.  It’s a "reality" show about 20 year old surfer guys and the 20 year old blond girls who love them.  It’s the kind of show that I hope never becomes "reality" for me or my progeny. 

There is excessive buttcrack and use of the word "like."  There is a girl on the show who wears a tiara to parties.  It’s not clear how any of these people have money to pay for the grilled pineapple and shrimp that they eat.  The dialogue is 90% "Hey dude, do you want to like go on a party boat with us?"  "Um, ok, dude.  So like, you can call me Palm Tree."

Palm Tree.  That is what she wants people to call her.  Palm Tree.

Even worse than all that, I cannot believe this TV show is on in my hotel room and has been for 20 minutes.  Two words: train wreck.