My daughter called me MEAN tonight for the first time. I am so proud! This is a sure sign that she is growing up and gaining her sense of self. Now EAT your lentils!!
Do you have regrets? I have a few – probably worthy of their own post really. But here are a few:
- Should have taken a year off between high school and college.
- I cannot believe I don't speak another language (does MSFT Excel count? I am fluent in that).
- Should have run cross country in high school.
- Should have stuck with rowing crew in college.
- Should have listened to my parents when they said "Take piano!"
- [are we catching a theme here, the coulda woulda theme?]
- Should have played more as a kid and not worried about being embarrassed.
- One can always see friends more and call family more than we do.
- Laughing. More of that.
- Should have coupled a minor in English with my Econ major.
- There are hair and outfit regrets. I suppose they make for fun pictures now…don't judge.
- This is a biggie – conflicted biggie – I regret taking my first job out of business school for the money and the name! Oh there I said it! I went to Goldman right after b-school and it was a mistake. I did it because I thought I wanted to talk to hedge fund managers all day about diverse and alpha generating trading strategies! YES. That is what I told myself. But in reality, it was for money, a "known" career path and well, some other dumb reasons. I left after only a few months – got an offer at an internet start-up and ran. The event was not terminal but something of a waste. I pursued that job for nearly a year in b-school. THAT was the waste. What other time in your life do you have to experiment? To try something new? To look for a job that aligns with your passions?!?! I had the world as my oyster and I went to…Wall Street. Bad oyster. Alas. Now, if only we had a better way to figure out what we really WANT to do. And what a luxury. To have that as a choice.
So there you have it. Oh yeah, there are others, but oh how DULL. I get the whole "I would not be who I AM! if I had done things differently" (I always picture people saying this, channeling their inner Scarlet O'hara. But please. What a crock. I mean sure, maybe that is true but really you would not do ANYTHING differently? OK. I suppose the way to think of regrets is as opportunities. Who says I cannot take piano and learn a language now or in the future? Think of it that way, feel better. Move on.
I don't really know how my daughter calling me mean led to that diatribe. I think I thought my parents were mean for trying to force me to do things I did not want to do but now wish I had done. Now that is a tough balance to strike as a parent. Think I will just deal with a few regrets tonight and get to my daughter's future therapy needs another day.