Nobody laughs on the subway. It’s not that it’s not allowed it’s just not done. You can read, listen to music, drink coffee, or if you got on early, applying a full face of makeup is permitted. If you can hang from the ceiling by your feet and catch a baseball hat on your shoe, you are allowed to breakdance (b-boy) in the subway car but that is only after you tell everyone “Showtime! Showtime Everyone!” Personally, I like to rest my coffee in my bag so I can hold the rail with one hand and my iPhone with another to get in some reading time. This is not exactly “allowed” and some have pointed out this is a “high risk coffee move” but so far no spills, so I get a pass. I saw a woman reading a book on the subway the other day and this struck me as very odd (hard cover, no less – no library markings). Who reads books anymore? Since the iPhone and Kindle arrived nobody knows that every man woman and child is reading Fifty Shades of Grey while sitting right next to you (and thank G-d for that). It’s a little sad really, since the Sunday Book Review and the Subway were how all of us used to knows which books were worth reading. Now we’re stuck with www.goodreads.com.
Speaking of funny things (that was how this started), I always chuckle when someone orders a Tall Jamaican at Starbucks. I happen to love Jamaica but even more so I love Eddie Murphy Raw and this otherwise innocent order immediately reminds me of a raunchy line (really, it’s all raunchy) from Raw about a guy named Dexter. Please rent it immediately. Also worth renting, for all you parents out there, is Bill Cosby Himself. As my husband likes to say, all of the trials and tribulations we face as parents are “universal” and Bill reminds us of that. Alex and I talked for twenty minutes the other night about how we should have handled Aiden who refused to chew the prune he was sucking on before bed and what parenting tactics would have been most appropriate. We could use a little more Bill Cosby humor in our lives.
Raise your hand if you remember automated Directory Assistance! Wasn’t that cool – call 411 and then press 1 to be put through. My dad was never a first adopter of technology but he was an expert at lazy efficiency. Press 1 used to drive my mother crazy since it cost, what, $0.25 a call? He was good. He really knew how to get her goat. He was hyper-diligent so after going great lengths to write down the number on an index card, rather than hanging up and dialing again, he would Press 1.
I am not sold on the “tights under shorts” trend by the way. Unless you are 25 or French it’s an all too often ill-fated wardrobe choice. Of course there is a woman in my neighborhood who wears tights under shorts (not black for the record – so SUPER risky) and since she is both 25 and French it really works on her. To make matters worse, she has two kids and is nice. It’s not easy to get husbands to take on the task of arranging play dates but for some reason her family is in high demand with the daddy crowd. Go figure.
And lastly, since we are talking about wardrobes, I was walking down the street the other day with Avery when we were passed by a transvestite (6’3” with heels). Avery stopped to watch and observe and after taking it all in she declared “Mommy, I LOVE his dress!”
So many reasons to laugh and be proud.